my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
