I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So many bounce houses so little time
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You may now shotgun with the bride
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
