Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

You were right. It hurts to walk today.

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(571): View more from Virginia

On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..

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(609): View more from New Jersey

promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.

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(925): View more from California

I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it

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(417): View more from Missouri

People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.

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(817): View more from Texas

It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups

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