yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
