Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
