You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
