just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
