dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
