You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
