On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
do herpes really smell.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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