WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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