Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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