we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
