Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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