I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
