In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
