i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
