Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
