8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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