some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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