No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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