u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
