Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
