do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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