I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Randomize
