Porn is love you can see.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
