small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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