No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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