I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
