we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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