I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
