hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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