just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
