Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
