i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
