im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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