I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
