Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize