1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Randomize
