I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
