I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You ruined the universe
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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