I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize