Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
