I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
