What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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