would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize