Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
