I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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