You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
