Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
