Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
