Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
