He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
