I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
