She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize