In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
