I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
