I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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