Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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