someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
A bitchslap is in order.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
