Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
