im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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