you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We had sex on a dog bed..
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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