That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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