im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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