Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think I am morally bankrupt
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
