just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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