Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
