giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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