school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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