He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
