Ambien. No doubt about it.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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