I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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